Why Do We Do This (AKA Life Should Be More Simple)

Today, after crying my way home b/c i'm so exhausted yet have tons of work to do, i received an IM from one of my fave peeps saying, and i quote, " I hate my life...cause all i do is work and its a bit out of control." I hate my life b/c all i do is work....

when i left my past life (ie - quit my job for a year of bum-dom) it was b/c i had had enough. My life was void of energy, excitement, hope - everyday, i sat in my cubicle and thought about how badly I wanted to smash my computer against the wall. I'd brood and make references to Azkaban and dementors...it was lovely. And just when it got to the point where I couldn't fathom walking into the warehouse of despair one more time, I quit. It was time to put myself first - i thought in that year I'd discover all sorts of talents and opportunities and life would change. And then a year later i realized i wasn't anywhere closer to finding out what made me tick, i was running out of money, and yes, i missed the craziness of advertising. So I dusted off my resume, made myself sound smarter than I probably am and got a job. And today, (3 weeks into said job, mind you), I left the office after putting in a solid 11 hours knowing I was just going home to work a good 2-3 hours more and it sucked. It sucked b/c it took me right back to Life = Work = Life mentality. Why does work have to be never-ending? Why does anyone feel it's ok to expect non-stop mobility and scrambling for what? To sell something? Why aren't we just as consumed w/ living our life as we are w/ doing our work? Sigh - a lot of whys are whirling around my head BUT truth be told, i still have work to do so back to the grind I go.

Fairytales in Seattle

Let's just say April was a month of change...scary, life - altering change.

It pretty much started as most modern day fairytales: girl meets ad agency, is woo-ed by said agency, promises are exchanged, girl believes agency and thinks, "i could love you" - agency moves pretty fast, proposes, girl accepts...and the tale should end with..and I lived happily ever after in Seattle.

But wait! Before we get to happily ever after, we must go through all the obstacles and thorn-ridden paths as one is wont to find in fairytales. There was The Beast, who should have been captivated by the girl's love and vowed to change and love her back. There was the long winding road to oz to ask a wizard for a new home only to find out that he wasn't doling out requests at that time and there was the winged horse who should have been bringing reinforcement but fell asleep halfway between Seattle & LA. We even fought forces of nature while navigating through the endless hills & mountains of the 5. All in all, it was a fairytale w/ various twists & turns worthy of the Brothers Grimm.

How does this translate to Reality (TV)? The agency proves to not be quite what was expected so I spend the first week alternating between sheer panic and utter hopelessness (how soon can I quit is probably not the best mantra to be running through your head by day 3). The Beast (nee THE EX) should have broken free from his trance w/ my somewhat psychotic, hey-do-you-still-love-me email but instead preferred to ignore it. As in, ignore me...holding out my heart - do you hear the PLOOP? That's said heart landing ass up somewhere between Wilshire & Whitworth. The Wizard was Seattle (get the emerald city nod - yes, i'm pretty witty in my own mind) who dashed my hopes of cheap apartments and huge spaces - The 'Toto-we're- not-in-LA" dream but none-the-less, I'm sure there's a direct correlation to the fact that my apt ended up being the last one I saw and the fact that I had 20 minutes before having to head to the airport. Pegasus was the chariot w/ my bed, clothes and all sorts of goodies who decided I hadn't camped out often enough and therefore would arrive almost 5 days after moving into my apt.

And yes, there was snow - in april - snow!

And so the fairytale should end -there should Happily Ever After banner held up by two chirping birds, azure blue sky, Prince Charming leaning in for the kiss...sigh... BUT in Reality (TV) we're behind...we haven't quite made it to the end just yet.

B/c there is a prince, I just haven't met him yet. There is a land far far away and I love it - I love the buildings, the streets, the Seattle-ness of it all. And the villain that needs to be vanquished - well it alternates between work (oy) and my own pessimistic views b/c as we all know - good triumphs. And I'm the main character in this fairytale so by all rights, I win! I just don't know how many pages are left before we get to ... And she lived happily ever after. THE END (cue in chirping birds)